Being here

Scattered mind and heart plaguing me today. Do i really want to be here? That's the question i've been contemplating today. Intellectually i do, but there is a part of my heart that doesn't, and it's that part that over which i stumble before the finish line, that shakes my resolve, that clouds my intent. I want to commit and say yes, but what needs fall for that to become real? I sense the fear, and need time to brace myself as if knee deep in freezing cold water contemplating that dive in...