Don't

I don't feel like writing today, but i'll drag my fingers along the keyboard and do it anyway just because i want to continue the practice of doing it.

Camping

Like the rabbit with the clock running late... it seems always to be so with getting away, and that's when i want to be like a puppy lying on the floor at home hiding...

Just words

Excitement as i'm off to Rainbow, tiredness as there has been so much to do. Some of which is still undone. Caught between wanting to hide under something and excitement about the possibilities of life and love.
Well, the picture function has just seized up. I guess it's time for bed.

100 Blogs

This is my one hundredth post. A milestone of sorts that takes me to reflecting on the blogging adventure. It's one of those activities that feels necessary almost now, even though i don't get to it everyday, i miss it when i don't.

The practice of just writing, of just getting something out, of letting words flow, sentences form and meaning emerge. It helps, particularly when my life involves so much writing. I still contemplate that gap in wanting to live even more by the word, and move each day closer to finding out what gifts are in it for me.

Summer

The flies buzz erratically as they slowly die in the windows, the wind stirs the trees but does little to ease the scorching heat, the cats lie as flat as possible and my sweat glands slowly seep precious fluid.

The dry grass bites bare feet and the asphalt is scorching, the reggae is sweet and the bubbling craziness of temple preparations keeps simmering away.

Summer is finally here.

Reality...?

Dreaming myself into a new reality where i'm on top of everything, drawing on an extraordinary reality where i feel totally loved, supported and met, and feeling reality start to bend within and around me to accommodate these new feelings... interesting the power we have within us.

Teaching Tantra

It's amazing the gifts the world brings you when you clearly ask, when you clearly intend. Increasingly over the last month or so i've had a growing clarity around teaching tantra: that i want to do it, that it's an important part of my life, and as such is an important part of my financial life.

And so i resolve, coming into the new year, that i'm really going to throw myself into it, really get this whole tantra business thing up on it's feet. And so i find myself at a conference that validates my capacity; i have a private coaching session that suddenly pops up; i find myself excited and interested and inspired. So much still to get in place, so much to get done in presenting the work, but it all suddenly feels very possible somehow.

Being here

Scattered mind and heart plaguing me today. Do i really want to be here? That's the question i've been contemplating today. Intellectually i do, but there is a part of my heart that doesn't, and it's that part that over which i stumble before the finish line, that shakes my resolve, that clouds my intent. I want to commit and say yes, but what needs fall for that to become real? I sense the fear, and need time to brace myself as if knee deep in freezing cold water contemplating that dive in...

Dust

I'm tired and washed. Washed for the first time in a week. My clothes and bedding lie close by, a pile on the floor, encrusted in dust. I'm not free of it yet. I feel like i've shed a skin over the last week, changes and transformations, surprises at how much i've grown, of how far i've still got to go. As the dust settles, i wonder if this is a year of consolidation, of closing lingering loose ends, of seeding a the new path that i've been dreaming of for so long. Gestation, foundations.