Killed by clouds

Nearing the end of my project, there's writing the report. Writing the report and trying to pitch it just right so that something is actually done. I've gotten so immersed the subject matter, i really just want changes to happen now. For some people it's a matter of life and death whether our institutions choose to spend resources on heatwave adaptation. But there are constraints, the constraints we perceive, the constraints we create, the constraints of the real world: the 'real' world that looks increasingly flimsy the deeper my awareness and exploration of consciousness goes.

But does it really matter if we're killed by clouds? The earth will still turn, life will still grow wherever it can, consciousness will still arise in remarkable ways. To us it matters, but so often we act as if it does not. And is death such a bad thing? These are not thoughts that make it into the report (and they are just the light through the keyhole), and barely in the office, although i let them creep out now and then and i can see that people know exactly what i'm talking about but they don't want to think about it.

I do want to think about it, but the energy and effort it takes to stand in two worlds, to be able to put aside the more subtle wisdom, to be able to act and produce within our institutional constructs that simply cannot deal with this kind of fundamental questioning, takes an increasing strain on my being. What would happen if only spoke from this deeper place? That is the question of the moment....