Mechanics of my mind

I realised today that i keep getting stuck in thinking i have to everything at once. And then i spiral into despondency quickly afterwards. There is such a thing called a plan, and a plan that isn't overloaded. I'm thinking it's like when i started to take my spiritual practice seriously, i decided that the minimum i had to do was one minute. It was the most liberating, and motivating thing i'd ever done. There have only been a handful of days in the last 10 years that it's been that short. The joy of the approach is that everything above the one minute is because i want to, not because i have to. I recognise that in the world of obligations it's not always that easy, but to be honest i think if i'd had that frame of mind for the last couple of years i'd have got a lot more done, and been a hell of a lot more relaxed, and possible got a lot more things done on time. So often it's about the first step: it can be so small, but so hard. I'm looking forward to January and having some time to recalibrate. And the picture is because i watched a bit of Ocotopussy and it was filmed partly in India and REALLY made me want to go back.

How great are cats...?

Really, how great are cats? They're sleeping away in my room, cuddled up together on my keyboard case, sending out very chill vibrations. It reminds me of miso, my old cat, best friend and spiritual mentor. He was always telling me to chill out, right up until his last day, i can still feel his mind drilling into mine.

These guys though are reminding me how lush it is just to be, and enjoy just being. And how much i'm looking forward to being able to do just that.

wandering mind

The cats have been a bit frantic today. Is it the chicken mince i got them, emotional stress or worms? Hard to say. Funny because i've been the opposite, i've hardly eaten a thing, well until dinner at least. There seems to be a relationship between eating less and brain activity. Perhaps its because i'm not distracting the blood from my brain.

All very fragmented and words not motivated by inspiration, but by keeping the practice going... i guess that's the whole real point of it though isn't it?

eeep

Late night mind mashing working to make happy goodness waiting for inspiration space time would only stop and let me rest.....

Sunshine

It's a beautiful day. The sun shines gently warming the earth once again (as opposed to the backs of rain clouds), the pool sparkles and ripples, the air is full of the sounds of spring: birds, bugs and rustling leaves.

I'm dreaming of being out in the sun rather than at my desk admiring it, a dream that is increasing in potency due to both its closeness as well as my growing enjoyment of not having as many things piled up on the 'to do list'. I've ticked a few things off and it feels so exceptionally good, just like this sun shiny day. Strange how i can forget so easily what can be so good for me, but like the rain it's necessary too, but unlike the rain it's not necessary for ever.

Clockwork

There are some things that make us less that we could be. I wonder if it's the same as what makes us what we could be? Or at least the flip side. I sit here wondering if my capacity is exactly my chain, my brilliance exactly my weakness.

A day of confusion has ensued after a couple of days of blazing activity. The cycles i find hard to ride, part of me wants to be able to hit the on switch on demand but the turning of the earth seems to have different ideas. I am not clockwork, but it seems that would be ideal.

Somewhere...

There is a golden red sunset going on somewhere right now, and a soft dawn full of gentle pink hues. There is rain soaking into soil as someone huddles resentful of the wet and cold, and someone a smile dancing as the earth and plants drinks deep. There is sunshine somewhere right now warming the skin of someone dreaming of their lover, and someone hiding from the brutal onslaught of the suns rays. There is someone inspired making real their very life's purpose, and there is someone hiding desperately from the deepest whispers of their soul trudging out the hours. There is concrete encrusted on now barren lands, and rainforests exploding with life. There is someone completely unaware of their own mind, and there is someone totally aware of everything. And there is everything in between, the dawn, the dusk, the sun, the moon, the dark the light. And patiently i can't help but feel the earth gently watches lovingly encouraging of everything, and the sky holds open the very heavens, waiting for us to allow grace, to find ourselves.