Ipsalu level 3 day 1

And so it begins...

The memory of being in a week long workshop with a group of people stepping into themselves and willing to go deep had faded. It's alive and very present now. It's an inspiring place to be in. Just a few hours and a clarity of thought and mind and connection is already apparent. Doubts and fears drop away, just excitement, anticipation and a willful determination are left. And a deepening openess. Everyone here has consciously engaged with their journey, it's not often you get the privelege to be in that kind of space. I guess it's part of why i love teaching.

My mind and body are still feeling stretched from jetlag, but now more grounded, more whole. I do love this stuff, it's like a holiday but better.

Hope Springs – Holiday USA

Yes, it does. Today we drove through the weird wilds of mid western Ohio. Very surreal stuff it must said, i felt like i was in some b-grade american movie where KKK sherifs ruled the town and the local equivalent of the mafia are a bunch of inbred hillbilles riding utes and cooking up mischief in the lab back at the farm.

The houses by and large looked run down, weather board mostly, all sort of bunched up and two stories the way American houses tend to be. There's not a single storey brick veneer in sight. The frayed lawns complimented the frayed houses, the frayed looking people, but were in contrast to the shiny new cars, well utes mostly, and by utes i mean big half truck things that were dreaming of growing up to be monster trucks.

There was a festival going on, or about to be going on, in one small town, hmm don't remember the name, half the town had turned out their sheds for garage sales... er thats yard sales here... there was BBQ corn a cooking, and a big sign saying God Save the Children. Lots of stalls with hand crafts, nic knacks, fried things and white bread. Sadly they didn't have a supermarket - we were on a mission for something not involving white bread and hot oil, but we managed to get out of there by promising that if we came across anyone thinking of opening a supermarket, we'd tell them to open it in that town, whatever it's name was.

San Fran Airport

The mind bending effects of time travel. And place travel. Aeroplanes.
And the airports that are kind of the same no matter where you go, the only thing that really varies is the number of boutique stores.
We went to Berkely today, it was the first time in the US that i felt a depth to a place, a vibe, saw a critical mass of open (and hence spunky) people. Wierdest are the times where i forget I'm in the US, and then something really USA happens and i get startled into remembering. Like seeing US flags hanging out of a shop, or the cars are coming at me on the wrong side of the street as i go to cross, small things, but jarring.
And then there is the accent. It's like the US and Aussie accents are opposite each other, we are nasal with our vowels, they are nasal with their consonants. It's disconcerting to say the least. But the wheather is hot, and i'm tired and jet lagged and about get little sleep in a tired old plan where i can see putty in the joins of the walls peeling away and brown grime in the corners of the buttons on the arm rest.
Yay USA.

JET LAG

Jet lag is my dominant modality tonight. The day has swung between intense tiredness, delving into Chaos Magic theories, a beach trip, an underlying flatness and the occasional bout of confusion. Oh and my organs aren't happy about having to adjust to being here. The hotel room is nice and i've had some great food. Sleep, sweet sleep, honey you never smelled so good...

Airport waiting lounge

Sydney airport, awaiting to board a great flying beast that will take me to unknown shores, to an adventure that will take me to some of the deepest parts of myself. Excitement, trepidation, weariness, resignation, i feel like appreciating this time with myself is important, because i'm not sure i'm going to walk out the other side quite the same. In fact my intention is to not. My intention is to walk eyes full open into the pain that lurks at the very core of me. We'll see.

Gluing the wings on

It always takes so much energy and effort, wondering if you've got everything, leaving so much behind, spending hours making sure the computer is backed up and i've got enough music on me to spend the entire trip listening to it when i'll just scratch the surface....
And there's those things you just let go of as you weren't going to get them done anyway.
And there is the process already begun of delving into the deepest recesses of the heart and throat chakras.

And the overwhelming, simultaneous and conflicting desires to go to sleep and stay up all night manically doing stuff.

Cats, friends, man and magic

There is a cat on my lap. She purrs and wiggles and paws and snuggles on my lap, loud and proud and knowing exactly what she wants: a warm lap.

I walked along the Yarra River today with an old friend who i have a deep and, walked in the dusk as lights glistened, past the ferris wheel, the river lay rippling slowly like a molten mercury. Some friends you love and perhaps in another life you would fall in love with them, or have, and it resonates. This happens a lot.

As i rushed today my heart hang tattered in the breeze. It was nice to have so much to do otherwise it would want to eat my mind - it's hungry to be filled.

Today i met with my magical men and talked of magic and power and testicles and sex and drew runes and cards and resolved to keep grounded and hone our metal. Magic is the ability to will a change in our perceptions. I saw an oracle machine today, a fragment of chaos magic about to be released into the world.

I take another step, a step into tomorrow, a tomorrow of dreams and adventures and a tank full of juice with the brake cable gone.