disfunction

Sometimes things just seem so hard and far away for no clearly explainable reason. Time to go to bed and hope my world has righted itself when i get up.

The Game

In the crack between dawn and daylight, idea and action there is a whole avalanche of thoughts, of processes, of beliefs and control signals that come cascading in. I begin to see them, i begin to see the buttons they press playing me like a finely tuned instrument they slip underneath my attention like a magician waving his hand and in the moment of distraction the deed is done. Like a magic trick, the trick being to disable magic, disable my choice of reality. I can see it, am i fast enough to catch it, or is that too a game?

wheels and gears

It's way too late and the wheels and gears inside are still whirring away furiously, spinning faster and faster towards their doom...

Sometimes

Sometimes at the days end all i wish for is a new day. Sometimes it helps.

Falling like water

Some days fall like water, they just flow over you and the best thing to do is to let go and allow them to happen.

Some days are like a sheer rock face clear and solid and powerful and things just happen.

Today was more like water.


-- Post From My iPhone

Home again

One of those nights where I thought the evening was going to be topped of by a cranking little party and instead it was topped off by a chill little party where we didn't really know anyone and the friends who had told is about it we couldn't get in contact with.

Hard not to be a little disappointed.

But at least there is home and a neat kitchen but I do feel like I've been spending too much time chilling here after unsatisfactory outings.

Ah well lucky I'm having fun on the inside.

-- Post From My iPhone

Little bits

Little bits of me everywhere falling into themselves
A weight of creaky old selves bickering over the feast
Tired, impatient, numb, fearful, bewildered
The reflections move whenever i try to see behind them
A cold wind blows as Winter stretches his bones
A warm bed and a purring cat.