Falling like water

Some days fall like water, they just flow over you and the best thing to do is to let go and allow them to happen.

Some days are like a sheer rock face clear and solid and powerful and things just happen.

Today was more like water.


-- Post From My iPhone

Home again

One of those nights where I thought the evening was going to be topped of by a cranking little party and instead it was topped off by a chill little party where we didn't really know anyone and the friends who had told is about it we couldn't get in contact with.

Hard not to be a little disappointed.

But at least there is home and a neat kitchen but I do feel like I've been spending too much time chilling here after unsatisfactory outings.

Ah well lucky I'm having fun on the inside.

-- Post From My iPhone

Little bits

Little bits of me everywhere falling into themselves
A weight of creaky old selves bickering over the feast
Tired, impatient, numb, fearful, bewildered
The reflections move whenever i try to see behind them
A cold wind blows as Winter stretches his bones
A warm bed and a purring cat.

Varanasi

My brother is going to Varanasi. It brings back a flood of memories of a city of magic, madness, beauty and filth, it's the city on the edge of the world, or perhaps right in the middle of them, a bridge between the worlds. I'm really excited for him, but also really wanting to be there to experience it again and make sure my brother is all right. It feels a bit like an opportunity lost, but i'm clear to that to be there would feel like an opportunity lost here. Win win lose lose, life is sometimes like that.

The intensity of memory, it so makes me want to be back there.

Shame

Shame rears it's head, it's at the very core of me, facing me, a shambling monster hiding behind the mirror i see myself in... or is it just a crappy piece of glass... a city of gold built on a fetid swamp... into the gaping maw once more i go, boots strapped tight, the sword of clarity slung across my back and faint beacon deep inside my heart calling me home and guding the way.

Good

Tired and frazzled, but juiced up with goodness, man time and magic.

Flowers

It's interesting isn't it how we quite happily hold the genitalia of plants up to our noses and savour the beauty of their scent, how we, even in churches, prize the sexual organs of plants and put them in special places of note to be appreciated and admired by all.

And yet we repress our own genitals so heartily. When was the last time you put your nose to the genitals of a friend and inhaled deeply to see what this beautiful person smelt like? When was the last time you saw an artistic arrangement of human genitals on an altar at a wedding?

Curious questions indeed...

Fire

We drove through the back of Kinglake the other day, on our way up to Yoga Camp in northern Victoria. It was a shock to see how intensely charred the landscape was. And made me appreciate really deeply the grace that allows me to be living without the brutal caress of the flames in my own home.

The black ribbon of bitumen wound its way through a silent landscape, the very earth itself blackened, the only other colour a dusty brown - the brown that exists when plant tissue has no water left in it. The shiny silver railing along the road highlighted the charcoal colours like a well chosen frame.

It makes me wonder how long the part of earth called Australia will tolerate us living here. She could starve us out all too easily. Burn us out all too easily. Or maybe she will wash us away just when we think we can adjust to living in a desert. The ferocity of the flames brought an awareness that maybe not even our comforting blanket of asphalt and concrete is enough to protect the heart of the city.

Slowly softening

Another day, a grey one at that. The earth is slowly softening, there is a mist today lying across the valley which echoes the recent rain. There is a slight flush of green in the crisp brown grass. It's strange to see green in the fields nearby: even stranger how quickly we become used to something being dead. And disturbing how quickly the agapanthas have sprung back: they were just starting to look sick.

It will take a while to get used to this dry being normal, it will be fascinating to see how the plants and animals adapt and survive. Maybe that's why blackberries and agapanthas are here, they could be all that's left if this keeps up.

Camping again

Off i go to camping again, the mad rush of getting everything together and inevitably leaving late.